


Lessons in Good Housekeeping

by mm_coconut



Series: Carnal Meat [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, BDSM, Comeplay, Dirty Talk, Double Penetration, Dream Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hero's Journey, House Elves, Human Furniture, Intercrural Sex, M/M, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Orgy, Roleplay, Voyeurism, Wingfic, unconventional lube, will add tags as needed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:34:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25367668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mm_coconut/pseuds/mm_coconut
Summary: (the inspired works above are not real. if you arrived here by accident, starting from the first story in the series will make this make marginally more sense.)
Relationships: Albus Dumbledore/Everyone, Albus Dumbledore/Original Male Character(s), Albus Dumbledore/Severus Snape, Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn
Series: Carnal Meat [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1836703
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	Lessons in Good Housekeeping

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Chapter 7

"Lan Zhan is not knowing what to do next," Lan Zhan confessed, fingers working miserably at his bat-like ears. "Wei Ying teaches how to makes him feels good?"

Wei Ying nodded eagerly, ears flapping. "Wei Ying teaches! Wei Ying is always watching professors."

Lan Zhan creased his face wrinkles into a frown, eyes bugging out more. "Lan Zhan thinks that is dangerous! What if Wei Ying is caught?"

"They can't hurts Wei Ying!" Wei Ying puffed his bony little chest out. "Wei Ying is free house elf!"

—

Afterwards, Lan Zhan charmed his pillowcase clean and pulled it back on, easing it over his ears. "Where is Wei Ying saying he learned that from?"

Wei Ying beamed. "Wei Ying is always getting tips from watching Headmaster Dumbledore!"

Lan Zhan held up the jar in his knobbly fingers. "Is Wei Ying sure that Headmaster Dumbledore is using this on Professor Snape?"

Wei Ying shook his head, ears flapping. "No, Wei Ying is not having a wand so Wei Ying can't be using slippery-squishy spell, but Wei Ying borrowed lemon treacle from kitchens! Is close enough, right?"

"Mn," Lan Zhan mused squeakily.

  


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Works inspired by this one:

The Pillow Book by orphan_account  
freedom is just another word for meaning nothing is left to lose by orphan_account  
Lemon Treacle by orphan_account  
Sugar, We're Going Down by orphan_account  
Untitled ficlet by orphan_account  
Sugar, We're Goin' Down by orphan_account  
A [Restricted Work] by fan_boy Log in to view. 

  


* * *

**Author's Note:**

> (the inspired works above are not real. if you arrived here by accident, starting from the first story in the series will make this make marginally more sense.)


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